Im in Lithuania-ville and the Drunk Taxi Driver is the mayor!

Ah yes, one of my favorite quotes... an Ace Ventura quote from Ace Ventura Pet Detective. He is by far one of my favorite people in the whole wide world and I quote him constantly, just ask Andrew and Lukkes...I felt that I needed to title this blog with a little humor in a tribute to our quest through Lithuania which was extremely comical...I can say that now because its over, but it was quite terrifying. Mom, you are always telling me to make good choices and I made an innocent choice that good have turned out very very very badly for me and my boys...

In Kaunas, Lithuania they have what they call "Micro Buses". Basically, they have taken an old minivan, completely gutted it out and put 3 or 4 rows of metal seats in the back and called a taxi. It only costs 2.50 Lahti (which is the currency in Lithuania) and you can go where ever you want. We flagged down this "Micro Bus" and handed the man our money and sat in the back...first off, the people of beautiful Kaunas do not speak a lick of english, and of course he asked us in Lithuanian where we wanted to go? I think? or so thats what we thought, we said "Mega," which is this big famous mall jsut outside of downtown (ya it was raining cats and dogs, and we figured we could do some shopping for the relatives...ya you're welcome). He surprisingly understood us and we were off!

And I do mean off! We were swriving through traffic and going around 80 km/hr through downtown...Im thinking, did we get in the wrong Micro Bus? you bet we did...It didn't take long until my wondering, curious eyes, fell upon a half empty bottle of liquor resting in the door pocket of the drivers door....uh oh. I quickly nudged Lukkes and pointed to the bottle...He looked at me and then looked at Andrew and I said, "Hang on boys! It's going to be a bumpy ride..."

After running at least 3 red lights, cutting 7 people off, almost running over poor little grannie in her babooshka, and seriously 3 minutes later...we arrived at our destination.

Once we had conluded our shopping (you're welcome again whoever you are...) we walked outside and saw a Micro Bus in the distance, we flagged it down deciding to give this type of transportation another shot and who do you think the driver was?

Im here and healthy and pumped for the Roosters game this Sunday (THE 4TH OF JULY!!!) so you can make your own conclusions...

Perez....OUT!

"Everytime I Come Around Your City Bling Bling"

I'm sorry I have not been posting so frequently, I've been busy with new additions to my life. Welcome to another adventure in the life of James in Finland, I would like to tell you about the newest change in my life...(mom don't kill me) I recently pierced both my ears with 14 carrot diamond earings...just kidding! there not 14 carrot... but seriously, I did pierce them, with something a bit smaller. One day on our adventures through downtown Jyvaskyla, I decided that I was finally going to get my ears pierced...call me crazy! but I did it. We went to this little shop in the middle of the downtown mall which consisted of 1 small curtain (with what looked like a dentist chair behind it) and 2 employees (whom were pierced from head to toe), I said, "This looks promising,". We asked the man (pierced from head to toe) how much it would cost to get both my ear's pierced, he said "30 euro, and what kind of earing would you like in them?", he pointed to 2 possibilities, I turned to Andrew, Luke, and Taylor (Lukkes's girlfriend) and said, "Wow, I have a lot of choices!" the two choices were a small pair of cubic circonium earings? And a pair of metal balls, (I don't want to be a punk rocker) "I'll take the two diamond ones please,". He then took me to the dentist chair behind the single curtain (I HATE THE DENTIST) and gave me a cleaning and care brochure for my new investments, it was all in Finnish, WONDERFUL! I'm very grateful, however, that he spoke pretty good english and so he explained MOST of what I needed to know...I guess. So he marked my ears up with a marker and pierced them, pretty simple procedure, until he rattles me by asking (with a straight face and in all seriousness) if I wanted my nipples pierced. "Um.." I replied, "Maybe next time?". Are you kidding me???? Who do you take me for???

I was lookin good sportin my new "bling" as we youngsters call it, smooth sailing from here! Or so I thought....

As most of you may know, if you have your ears pierced and you play sports most of the time you need to tape them up (especially if you play a sport with a helmet). Well, James did not really think about that or consider that "hey, maybe I play a sport that uses helmets which are constantly coming on and off and mostly used as ramming devices to hurt other people...." my 2nd practice with them on, one of them came out and me, Taylor and my coach went on panic mode. Coach started with "that's not good" Taylor said "James! come here let me fix it" and I replied with "Am I going to die?". Neeedless to say when I took off my helmet the back of my left earing came off and out into the turf with it, never to be seen again. Taylor and my coach worked intently to tape the backside and the other ear for the rest of practice. The aftermath of this incident could not be more humiliating, I spent the last 2 DAYS with a large piece of black athletic tape covering most of my left ear and the entire team, city (and every girl in it) staring at me like I had just faught Mike Tyson and was about to win until he bit my ear off...thanks alot Mike....

Stay tuned for next weeks blog where I will dicuss more additions to my life along with the experience that comes with them....

Finballer 1

The Language Barrier

Obviously, learning the basics of Finnish communication are key in surviving in the great city of Jyvaskyla..."Moi," means hello and goodbye (kind of like aloha), "Kiitos" means thank you, "Si sincu sinun puhelinnumeron?" is just how you ask an extremely attractive bank teller for her phone number...we're ballin' at this point. We become a little rattled, however, when this extremely attractive bank teller asks "why?". "wait," I replied, "you're not even impressed with the fact that I asked you in your native language??? You're not even flattered??" I began to think this was a huge mistake, until she handed me my bank statement with her name and phone number and told me that I can call her anytime...the scoreboard reads: Team James 1, Finnish Guys 0.

If you're anything like me, you know the importance of "smack" talking or "slang", and if you ask me, these are both necessary on and off the field. Needless to say I learned some stuff...so I started using it in our 2nd game against the Butchers. One of the Butcher's players (a Finnish tackle that played 4 years at Nebraska and stands at a petite 6'7 330lbs)who I had know idea was Finnish, and figured he did not know what I was saying actually did. He then proceeded to take it upon himself (during one of my interception returns)to bench press me about 10 yards out of bounds...lesson learned. Now the scoreboard reads Team James: 1 Finnish Monster: 1

Until next time...

-FinBaller1